Doreen's Fun Page

Beacon Villages

Belstone - South Tawton - South Zeal - Sticklepath
Under Cosdon Beacon Dartmoor Devon UK

Beacon Villages Journal

Doreen's Fun Page

A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa , officials said.

The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean , then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him
"It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park , told AFP.
"After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added. "The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added
The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Foods that Heal

apples	Protects your heart	prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
apricots	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Sheilds against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
avocadoes	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
beans	Prevents constipation	Helps hemorroids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps hemorroids
canteloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
carrots	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
cauliflower	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
cherries	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Sheilds against Alzheimer's
chestnuts	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
chili peppers	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
figs	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
fish	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
flax	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
garlic	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	kills bacteria	Fights fungus
grapefruit	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
grapes	saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
green tea	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
honey	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases enery	Fights allergies
lemons	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
limes	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
mangoes	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	aids digestion	Sheilds against Alzheimer's
mushrooms	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Kills bacteria	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
oats	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	prevents constipation	Smoothes skin
olive oil	Protects your heart	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Smoothes skin
onions	Reduce risk of heart attack	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Lowers cholesterol	Fights fungus
oranges	Supports immune systems	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stregthens respiration
peaches	prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes	aids digestion	Helps hemorroids
peanuts	Protects against heart disease	Promotes Weight loss	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Aggravates diverticulitis
pineapple	Strengthens bones	Relieves colds	Aids digestion	Dissolves warts	Blocks diarrhea
prunes	Slows aging process	prevents constipation	boosts memory	Lowers cholesterol	Protects against heart disease
rice	Protects your heart	Battles diabetes	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes
strawberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	boosts memory	Calms stress
sweet potatoes	Saves your eyesight	Lifts mood	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
tomatoes	Protects prostate	Combats cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart
walnuts	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	boosts memory	Lifts mood	Protects against heart disease
water	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Conquers kidney stones	Smooths skin
watermellon	Protects prostate	Promotes Weight loss	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure
wheat germ	Combats Colon Cancer	prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	improves digestion
wheat bran	Combats Colon Cancer	prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	improves digestion
yogurt	Guards against ulcers	Strengthens bones	Lowers cholesterol	Supports immune systems	Aids digestion

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill flies out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her.... "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..."

"Dang!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can retrieve some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?" " Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of guys come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"

"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingy through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up"....

The National Highway Safety Council
has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt.

Results show that accidents can be reduced
by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.

Correct installation is illustrated right...

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