DHTML Menu, (c) 2004 Apycom Software
Beacon Villages Journal
Doreen's Fun Page     
Las Vegas Theme Park - want a ride?
theme park on skyscraper
overhanging chairs
ride over drop
on a limb
over the city

 The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail  instead of his tongue.
        -Anonymous

 Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
        -Ann Landers


 If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
        -Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
        -Ben Williams


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
        -Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
        -Andy Rooney


We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
        -M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
        -Sigmund Freud


I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
        -Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
        -Robert Benchley


Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
        -Franklin P. Jones


If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
        -James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. (OOPS!! I was wondering about that)
        -Unknown


My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
        -Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
        -Anne Tyler


Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
        -Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
        -Mark Twain


You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
        - Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
        -Roger Caras


If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
        -Phil Pastoret

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.

star in chest implanted arms

chest implant

heart shape imp[lant

arm implants

head implants

An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office
with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.

He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large
imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a
very load voice the receptionist said, "Yes, I see your name here... you
want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"

He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No,
I've come to inquire about a sex change operation... and I'd like the
same doctor that did yours!"

icile raiols icicle car
icy road iced tree
ice seats frozen van
OLD MEN...
old man

The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.  The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a while.  He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.  As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."

The old man frowned, "I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

 

Moral: Old men can still think fast!