| Beacon Villages Journal |
Doreen's Fun Page |
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Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President
his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying:
"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers
were killed in an accident".
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims.
"That's terrible!!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously
watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President, devastated, looks up and
asks..........
"How many is a Brazillion??!"
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FOUR FRIENDS AT A PARTY
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for hisbirthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot . Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our son...What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends shifted uncomfortably. "Hmmmm, what a shame," one replied. The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.
And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends
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Lying is a Sin
A minister told his congregation,
"Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister
asked for a show of hands.
He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.
Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now
proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." |
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Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo
were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said,
"I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo said,
"I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."
They decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy.
"It's official, I am the most beautiful girl in the world,"
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am officially the
smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and simply stated,
"Who the hell is Camilla Parker Bowles?"
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